Happy?

I guess I am. I went on half a pill of Rispiridone (it's for my anxiety) and I found that I'm a lot perkier. SAD is an odd thing... I'm still trying to figure out how it works really. So I'm cleaning feeling perky and wondering how long the withdrawal will last. Anyway... winter's here, it's snowing. Didn't get around to doing the last yard clean up cuz it rained so much and now I just can't! Well, unless I want to mow snow. I will, however, be pulling the fireweed out of the fence because it will just bloody stand there all winter and it irks me. Better do it before it freezes in I guess.

I have the plastic for the windows but I haven't gotten around to THAT either, but at least I got the porch clean... that porch gets so much crap piled in it in the summer that I have to do it before it gets cold. See, we live in a broken old little trailer, and it shifts. The door shifts in the porch too... so sometimes if it's 30 below outside it's 20 below in the porch. I'd rather not be cleaning it out THEN. Of course, in a couple of months, I'll have to catch a cold steam cleaning the carpet in there too, because it can only hold so much melted snow from boots before it gets musty smelling. The alternative is exposing the FUGLY ASS lino underneath and mopping up puddles all winter or letting them freeze there. The porch is warm depending on how much snow builds up to seal off the bottom of the door and how much the door shifts UP to cover that little gap. Yes... I'm trailer trash but I love my house. I've never had one before so I love every broken inch of it!

Anyway off to work again to bend young minds to my evil plans of world domination...

The Queen's Meme - Hospital

1. What is the strangest thing that has ever happened to you in a hospital (besides your illness)? Not enough towels? No condiments? Can't get your favorite channels? Come on, you can tell me. **Or....maybe this answer doesn't involve you being the patient.**

Thinking I peed all over the floor when I was vomiting and my water broke. That was the weirdest feeling I've ever had! Do I tell someone? Do I clean it up? What do I do? BAM contraction.

2. If you had your choice of IV cocktails, what would you choose?

I'm a big fan of whatever they gave me the first time I had an operation... but that would knock me out. I guess I'd have to say morphine please!

3. Tell us your funniest hospital story.

Cathi, you know it's you. It has to be you. I'll be quick. "Internal" finger check for cervical dilation + contraction. Me, face white and crawling up the bed without moving limbs. *gasp* Coach who hasn't eaten much or slept in three days. Coach faints. Nurse freaking out cuz she was on the other side of the bed. Coach hits the bed, on which the brakes aren't applied, with head and sends it flying then hits the floor. Several doctors, etc, crowd around coach. Coach opens eyes... "Heeeeeeeeeey, Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii knooooooooooooow yoooooooooooooooooou." Me, in labor, bursts the f*ck out laughing ass off! *note: coach was okay. minor concussion. I love you Cathi!

4. Do you have any hospital phobias?

After being in the psych ward, looked after by CO WORKERS in thin little pajamas and at my worst... how the hell could I develop a phobia?

5. Imagine you are in bed trying to get some sleep after a long night of interruptions by the nurse on duty who would NOT stop waking you up to see if you were asleep...It is 3am. You finally get to sleep. She comes in at 3:15 and wakes you up again. What happens next?

It happened. My words were "Feed him the bottle, I'll breast feed him tomorrow." before turning around on my side in bed and promptly ignoring the nurse.

6. You are stuck in the elevator with an attractive person of the opposite sex. You notice there is no wedding band. Do you strike up a conversation? If so, what is the first thing you would say?

I am too weary at this point in my life to strike up a conversation with a stranger. Let me let you in on something: I picked up a young guy at the bar randomly. Turns out he was a schizophrenic who snorted Ritalin and his parents were Scientologists. I have radar for crazy men. Noooooooo random flirting here. Also, looked at a friends dad funny... he didn't stop hitting on me for a year. A YEAR! Reason I love my husband: if you flirted with him for 5 hours, he wouldn't notice. Well, that and he's not schizophrenic... I think. Probably?

7. A very odd patient wanders into your room from the upstairs psychiatric ward. What do you do?

Strike up a conversation! I probably know him or her first of all, because I worked on that unit for so long... but I would eventually ask what they were doing in my room and probably quietly alert the nurses after he/she was gone.

It's like vacation, but exausted and sick.

I have been home for about a week now... I did work a couple of hours yesterday and I'm hoping for a full day (5.5 hours) today. Isn't that the wussiest thing you've ever heard? I have a tooth infection... no big deal I've had infections before. However, I have never had an infection after being diagnosed with diabetes. BIG DIFFERENCE!!! It was actually fine until the dentist tried to drill it, and the freezing wasn't working so he was like, dude, it must be infected take these before you come see me next and we'll take that sucker out. SO went home lalala don't have to get them till the sixth or something lalala... he spread it all over my mouth. The next day I was tired, dizzy, and my blood sugar was pushin 12. THEN my mouth swelled up on one side so I looked like half a chipmunk... oh. and it hurt to open my jaw. It was bad. Off to get antibiotics I went and I've been sleeping 1/2 or more than 1/2 of my days away. Yesterday I was okay at work but I was super tired and I couldn't focus on anything so my coworker just sent my dumb ass home. I think he was glad to get me out of the office. He said I sounded bitter too... it must come out when my defenses are down because I've REALLY tried to quash that in myself. Who wants to think of herself as the bitter old bag?

In other news... I totally jiggled my boobs at Andy by accident (uncle who is staying with us.) I think I'm getting too comfortable with him around, or the antibiotics are completely screwing my brains over. I was wearing a tank top with no bra and I just went over and flung my arms out and said HAI!!!!!!!!11!!!11 not thinking. Bam. My boobs seriously jiggled. He looked. Just for a second but I pretended not to notice and didn't talk to him for the rest of the day. SO embarrassed. I am going to blame the antibiotics okay? Cuz I can't blame the booze anymore since I quit. Oh! How far I've fallen from last week!

Why I love xkcd

Hello There

I fixed my permissions! Also I am posting for the first time in months. This is terrible... if anyone reads xycd (if you don't, you should... did I put it in my links?) there was one about the Most Boring Man on Earth and his blog had four posts, all of which were apologizing for not posting more often. So I'm not gonna do THAT too much.

So, uncle Andy is staying with us, my husband's uncle. He's pretty cool though so I'm okay with that. He doesn't mind it when my SAD requires a complete mess and he pretty much rolls with anything. I appreciate that greatly. He's good to have around.

What else is new? I'm a youth coordinator... we changed our job titles to something else. *looks for cards* (o ya, I have my first business card) Found it! PROGRAM COORDINATOR which translates into do everything and make sure everything goes off without a hitch! It's a bit complicated but not too bad so far (it's really only as complicated as we make it since there's only two of us.) I like the flexibility and the results... when you're in charge of everything everything is a result!!!

The rats are growing up quickly, they're adorable. They crawl right up my arms now if I put my hands in the cage and they give me kisses all the time! Wish I had more time for them lately... am working on cleaning up the bedroom so I can either have them in there once in a while for explore time or have Zima in there and let them run around in the living room. They need it... the table and shelf isn't going to keep them happy forever!!!

Anyway I have to go because I forgot my date book at work and there's an appointment this week and I DON'T KNOW WHEN! ...but I promised myself I would post first. <3 Ber

Towels? REALLY?

There is a lesson everywhere, my friends. Lessons in our days, our nights, our thoughts and our hearts. Lessons. Have you ever read the Celestine Prophesy? Like that, but not quite so simple and straightforward. Sometimes however, something simple does strike me. Like towels.

I was reading my Idiot's Guide to Buddhism that a friend sent me, and I have been enjoying it mostly in the bathtub. So, I got to thinking that I like it because it has no particular rules... but it has guidelines. Guidelines I can live with. As I got out and put the book away, I thought to myself "Where the heck is my towel?!" It wasn't in the bathroom, so I grabbed a new towel. All my towels are different, but they're all towels. I thought this about religion. I kinda like Christianity, I kinda like Buddhism, I kinda like Paganism... and that's okay, because they're all towels. It doesn't matter which one I use on any given day, as long as I use one. Theeeeeen I'm not dripping my emotional, physical, and mental self all over the place... I have my towel of spirituality to balance everything out. It's not about the towel - it's about the effect of the towel. Thank the creator for all the towels, we do need them for guidance sometimes!

Blasphemer!

I had to write something blasphemous to satisfy my evil self in the eyes of a Christian God who is more than welcome to smite my ass and leave a pile of ashes where I used to be. I've been through worse. Well, God, what's the deal with Easter? Did Jesus really get up and start walking again after being crucified? I don't think so. I don't think you have one son. If there is a Creator then the Creator is father AND mother to us all. So Jesus? If you're out there somewhere, I think you could have been maybe a little bit less sexist and maybe less of an asshole too. Why did you let a bunch of men write your stories? It's at the very least lazy. Seriously dude, haven't you ever played telephone? Why didn't you do up some tablets on the side of a mountain or something? The American's did it for no good reason, I don't see why you couldn't have. It's not like you didn't have the technology... I mean, hello?! UR A DEITY! Do something right. Fucktard. That's all.